Tuesday, August 20, 2019
Ordinary People :: essays research papers
The book Ordinary People explains the troubles that occur in a typical American family. The family, the Jarrets, tries to maintain as much as a normal life as possible without a dysfunctional status. In the beginning of the story, the family deals with minor problems that had little impact to them. Since they had just moved to a new house in a new neighborhood, they try to establish relationships with other neighbors. Their son, Conrad, faces depression in which he must recover from through frequent visits to the hospital, and to his psychiatrist. The father of the family, Calvin, is a determined and responsible man, is positive on his outlook in life and looks forward to everything, including having a productive day at work. He tries to take care of Conrad by giving sending him to a psychiatrist. The mother, Beth, a strong working woman, is also like Calvin; she is responsible to the family as well. Obviously, the parents have no personal problems, but ironically they create conflic ts with each other. Although these conflicts are very minor, they eventually build up to separate the family later on throughout their marriage. An example of this was seen while the parents had troubles deciding where and when to go on vacation during their night out at dinner, because both their times conflicted with each other. The both of them always had minor conflicts that sprouted out every once in a while, but they were acceptable to each other. Conrad on the other hand had problems with his low self-esteem, grades in school, depression, suicide and interacting with other people. The loss of Buck brought Conrad down to his depression and low self-esteem, which eventually collapsed on his academic achievements in school. Also his social attitude towards society was weak, since his moods were always aimed towards quiet environments and loneliness. He took blame for his brotherââ¬â¢s death in a boat accident and wanted to commit suicide. Conrad wanted to be in his own world, where he could relax and be in peace from all the annoying people in his life. The only people he really spoke with outside of his family were his teammates in his swim team, Lazenby, Bergen, his psychiatrist, Jeannine, and Karen. This did not necessarily mean that he liked the people he had relationships with. Conrad found his own teammates annoying, his psychiatrist too nosy in his life, and Karen wasnââ¬â¢t creditable either because she had similar problems like him, since they met each other at the hospital.
Monday, August 19, 2019
A Passage to India:An Examination of the Work in a Historical Context :: essays research papers
A Passage to India by Edward Morgan Forster is truly one of the great books of itââ¬â¢s time. Written in an era when the world was more romantic, yet substantially less civil to the unwestern world than it is today; E. M. Forster opened the eyes of his fellow countrymen and the world by showing them the truth about British Colonialism. The novel aids greatly in the ability to interpret events of the time as well as understand the differences between the social discourse of then and now. à à à à à To fully understand A Passage to India and its cultural and historical significance one must first understand the world in which it was written, and the man who wrote it. Forster published the novel in 1924 England, a place much different than the England of today. At the time the sun still didnââ¬â¢t set on the British empire and there were still serious societal influences form the Victorian Era. à à à à à Forster was born on January 1st 1879; his family was part of London's upper-middle class. At the age of two Forster's father died, leaving only his mother to raise him. Their relationship was very strong and stayed that way up until her death in 1945. Forster was educated in Kent up until 1897, and then went on to Kingââ¬â¢s College at Cambridge. à à à à à Immediately after his graduation from the University in 1901, Forster began to travel around the world, spending much of his time in Italy, Greece, and Germany. His first novel, Where Angels Fear to Tread was published in 1905 and was received with good reviews. By the publication of his fourth novel, Howard's End in 1910 Forster had become a member of what was known in writing circles as the Bloomsbury Group, a distinguished group of writers including Virginia Wolf, John Maynard Keynes, and many others. In 1912 Forster made his first visit to India; and in 1021 after having served for the Red Cross in Egypt during world war one, he returned to India to be the private secretary to the Maharajah of Dewas. Forster based A Passage to India on the experiences he had while working for the Maharajah. à à à à à The world of Colonial India was much different than that of England at the time, or of the India of today. The country was ruled by the British military. British patriots and ex-patriots living in India had a culture all there own; they were not at all oppressors but did have a completely different culture than the indigenous peoples of the country.
Sunday, August 18, 2019
Charles Lindbergh :: essays research papers
Charles Lindbergh was a man of many accomplishments. In his time, everybody loved him. Charles was well known all over the world. He was a hero, he represented all that could be accomplished in the future. He was a figure for doing what nobody else thought could be done. Lindbergh was one of those people that everyone else wanted to be. Charles Augustus Lindbergh was born in Detroit on February 4, 1902, to Charles Lindbergh, Sr., and Evangeline Land Lodge. Yet, he grew up in a small town in Nebraska. Lindbergh was a whiz with mechanics. By age twelve, he was in charge of driving and fixing the car. In high school, he assembled a tractor from a mail order kit. When he was eighteen he entered the University of Wisconsin to study engineering. He found he was more interested in flying, so after two years of college, he dropped out and became a barnstormer, which was a pilot who performed daredevil stunts at fairs, and airshows. Lindbergh was a favorite among the crowds. People would travel from all different places, even Europe, to come see his daredevil tricks. In 1924 Lindbergh enlisted in the U.S. Army so he could be trained to be a pilot. During this time he was given the nickname “Lucky Lindy'; because he would attempt daredevil stunts with his airplane, and always seem to evade punishment from upper officers. In 1925 he graduated as the top pilot in his class. He soon began working as a mail deliverer between St. Louis and Chicago. Lindbergh soon heard of an offer given in 1919 by a New York hotel owner named Raymond Orteig. The offer was this: the first aviator to fly nonstop from New York to Paris would receive 25,000 dollars. Nobody had succeeded by 1927, and Lindbergh decided he could do it if he had a suitable plane. Remember, in 1919 this was a very scary thing to do! There was no radio on your plane, so if it went down, you could not call for help, and nobody would know where you were. Also, there was no coast guard, no search and rescue teams, so if you crashed, you were dead. He arranged for nine St. Louis businessmen to help him finance his plane. A company in San Diego called Ryan Aeronautical Company was chosen to construct the plane, which Lindbergh helped design. The plane was named "The Spirit of St. Louis". A transcontinental record was immediately set in a test run when Lindbergh flew from San Diego to New York City in
Saturday, August 17, 2019
John Proctor Essay
Everybody has come across someone who at first seemed like a nice, genuine person, but as secrets from the past come out, opinions change about that person. In the play written by Arthur Miller, The Crucible, John Proctor is a well respected farmer. John is hiding his secrets from his past to protect his reputation throughout the town. John Proctorââ¬â¢s main traits are that he is brave, extreme and dignified. Bravery is a trait that suits John Proctor well. When Proctor tried to convince everyone that the girls were lying, this was an instance of bravery because children were thought of as the vice of god and they were free of sin. Proctor also fought the court trying to keep them from convicting his spouse even though nobody else would dare to do. John says in court, ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll tell you whatââ¬â¢s walking Salem, vengeance is walking Salem. We are what we always were in Salem, but now the little crazy children and jangling the keys of the kingdom, and common vengeance writes the law! This warrants vengeance! Iââ¬â¢ll not give my wife to vengeance!â⬠Another quality that made him brave was when he confessed to the court that he had an affair with Abigail just to save his life. John says, ââ¬Å"I have known her sir, I have known her.â⬠John Proctor being brave is obvious but he can also be very extreme at some times. An instance of Proctorââ¬â¢s extremity was when he shouted, ââ¬Å"I say ââ¬â I say ââ¬â God is dead!â⬠and that he will see all of them burn in hell. That statement implied to the court that Proctor worshipped the Devil and committed perjury. When Proctor tore the warrant issued for the arrest of Elizabeth, it showed his ability to defy the court and in a way his religion because the court was controlled by religion. Keeping Mary Warren from court was extreme because he was keeping her from doing her duty and from feeling important for the first time. Even if one is brave or extreme, this doesnââ¬â¢t mean that they cannot be dignified too. Proctor acted dignified when he tries to please his wife in every way after he admitted to having an affair with Abigail. He did this by doing what she said and not complaining and acting nice and calm. He also exhibits dignity when he signs the confession and then later tears it up. This showed that he cared more about his belief and his name than he did about his life. By not buckling under pressure, Proctor was able to refuse to give into Danforthââ¬â¢s and Abigailââ¬â¢s power of persuasion, which showed a great deal of dignity. John Proctor is a character who seemed like a nice, honest man. But, as his secrets were revealed, we noticed he was a man with a past that he could not erase. John was hung for his crime, rather than destroying his name by the towns people knowing him for his crime.
Friday, August 16, 2019
Health Care Reform Project Essay
Introduction ââ¬Å"By 2030, one in five Americans will be over age 65, and the healthcare system is just beginning to feel the burden. (Matthews, 2013)â⬠Medical technologies, from the discovery of antibiotics to the portable defibrillators in nearly every workplace in the United States, have succeeded in prolonging life. In fact, humans are living about thirty years longer. (Matthews, 2013) This creates a gigantic problem for the US government: Who is paying for the health care of these aging individuals? Cause of Death for Seniors Over Sixty-Five An article in live science last year indicates that a senior over 65 years of age is most likely to die from falls resulting in head trauma. (Live science, 2013) ââ¬Å"Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is a major cause of death and disability in the United States, contributing to about 30% of all injury deaths. Every day, 138 people in the United States die from injuries that include TBI. Those who survive a TBI can face effects lasting a few days to disabilities which may last the rest of their lives. Effects of TBI can include impaired thinking or memory, movement, sensation (e.g., vision or hearing), or emotional functioning (e.g., personality changes, depression). These issues not only affect individuals but can have lasting effects on families and communities (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2014).â⬠Falls resulting in traumatic brain injury for seniors, if the trauma is severe, may result in months ââ¬â if not the remainder of the individualââ¬â¢s life and l eave the individual in need of around the clock nursing care. The ensuing results, if the individual survives a traumatic brain injury, may render the individualââ¬â¢s personality (change in mental status, mannerisms, or habits) being adversely affected to severe deficitsà in the senses. The capability of walking and/or talking, the use of one or both arms, and the ability to control bodily functions are all possibilities that may occur if an individual suffers traumatic brain injury. The cost of therapy and nursing care can swiftly deplete a seniorââ¬â¢s savings. Once stabilized, following the occurrence, an individual, if the individual is able to ambulate sufficiently returns, he or she may live for additional decades. If the ability to ambulate is grossly affected, despite adequate care, the individual stands to experiences frequent battles with lung infections, which may eventually lead to death. Regardless, beyond 65 years of age with one or more chronic diseases, the need for assistances will grow with each year. According to Matthews, seniors tend to ââ¬Å"romanticizeâ⬠the past ââ¬â a time when families took care of their elders, often at home. If a senior is in anticipation of this happening, chances are the realization dwindles with each passing year. (Matthews, 2013) Most of the baby boomers with chronic illness will require nursing home care and will rely upon Medicare and Medicaid to withstand paying for it. Who Pays for Baby Boomerââ¬â¢s Health Care? Couples turning sixty-five now should assume their portion of long term health care will be a minimum of $220,000 or more out of pocket. Most baby boomers have $50,000 or less when sixty-five rolls around and will expect to rely solely on Medicare and Medicaid. (Gleckman, 2013) This mindset is unrealistic. The number of people already dependent on these systems that are under sixty-five has nearly bankrupts the systems and the anticipation of the addition of large numbers of baby boomers certainly more than justifies the need for Health Care Reform. Conclusion Many baby boomers failed to prepare for the high health costs associated with aging. Medical technology has prolonged life. However, for all the technology, nothing was done to ensure the baby boomers (or those younger than the ââ¬Å"boomersâ⬠) retained adequate savings to meet the high cost of health care. Realistically, a twenty-five year old couple ââ¬â each earning minimum wage ââ¬â has a gross salary of $580 per week, $2,513 per month. The couple would have to save 25% of their gross salary to come ââ¬Å"closeâ⬠to the amount needed to cover out of pocket expenses after sixty-five years of age.à (Gleckman, 2013) In todayââ¬â¢s society, is that reality? What happens then? Baby Boomerââ¬â¢s reality check has yet to reach full impact. It is going to take tremendous government change and far more restraint on the US citizen to pay for senior care in the future. References Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (June, 2014). Injury & Prevention & Control: Traumatic Brain Injury. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/get-the-facts.html Gleckman, H. (5/22/2013). Why Baby Boomers Need to Get Real About Health and Long-Term-Care Costs in Retirement. Retrieved from http://www.forbes.com/sites/howardgleckman/2013/05/22/why Live science (January 15, 2013) whatââ¬â¢s the leading cause of death for the elderly Retrieved from http://wwwlivescience.com/32413-whatââ¬â¢s-the-leading-cause-of-death Matthews, S. (10/03/2013). How the Aging Population is changing the Health Care System. Retrieved from http://www.everydayhealth.com/senior-living/aging-and-health WHO, International (May, 2014). The top 10 causes of death. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs310/ent
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Ethical Issues In The ICU Essay
Medical practitioners are faced with the challenge of making decisions on whether to withhold or withdraw a patientââ¬â¢s life sustaining therapy in the intensive care unit. Intensive care units are departments which provide high quality and advanced forms of therapies to very ill patients in the intensive care unit at an increased cost. These patientsââ¬â¢ expectations are high with regard to modern medicine, and as a result, have led to the rise of complex ethical issues in the ICU. Clinicians managing patients in the intensive care unit face many ethical problems during the patientââ¬â¢s routine care. This is seen in cases of withholding life sustaining therapy, withdrawing life sustaining therapy, informed consent and making decisions that affect the patients. Introduction Ethical related issues in the intensive care unit are a dilemma facing medical practitioners and nurses. This has affected the quality of care given to the patients in the ICU. Nurses responsible for caring for critically ill patients are faced with many ethical problems in the ICU due to the lack of enough full time critical care personnel and lack of enough funds to facilitate and run the intensive care units. A guideline on ethical issues in the intensive care unit demands that nurses offering critical care to patients apply the care with humanity by showing respect for the emotions and choices of the patients and their families. Nurses in this field are required to provide all necessary information to the patients and the family, counsel them and assist in interpreting the results so they can make well informed decisions. Nurses must consult with all physicians involved in the patientsââ¬â¢ management. ethical problems facing nurses in he intensive care unit range from aggressive forms of treatment, following the wishes of the patients families to using extreme forms of reducing pain and assisted suicide and euthanasia.. Care of patients in the intensive care units involves aggressive forms of treatments with high risks associated with them and high-tech modern medicine which has higher risks than improving the patientsââ¬â¢ prognosis. Critically ill patients and terminally ill patients who should be left to die in the comfort of their homes like in the earlier days are now made to undergo last minute aggressive treatments which may end up being no significant. In such cases when the treatment fails and the patient dies, the patientsââ¬â¢ family blames the nurses and doctors for being insensitive to their wishes. Nurses are faced with the burden of not knowing where to draw the line between extending the natural process of dying by applying aggressive forms of medical care and when to apply life support systems. Ethics require that medical practitioners and nurses put the interests of their patients and their familiesââ¬â¢ first rather than applying futile medical technology to save the life of the patient or prolong their dying process against the familyââ¬â¢s wishes. Nurses in the care of critically ill patients are required to set proper goals and interventions for terminal are of patients. End of life decisions should be made after consensus with all involved physicians. Critically ill patients in the intensive care unit get the most complex forms of treatment even in cases where their prognosis is poor. These patients also die under the most undesirable situations such as comatose conditions or under ventilatory support. Research studies have shown that critically ill patients are put through very aggressive forms of treatment which the clinicians would not want to undergo. The same studies have shown that the majority of patients in the intensive care unit are on a life-limiting care. Only very few patients in the intensive care unit receive full life support treatment and CPR. Most nurses and medical care givers are faced with the burden of choosing whether to resuscitate a patient or not when their prognosis is poor. Categories of ethical problems Cost reduction Critical care of patients in the intensive care unit is the most expensive form of treatment. Critical patients who die are said to accumulate more expenses than those who survive. This is because aggressive modern medicine for sustaining life is very expensive. Due to this the standard of care give in intensive care units has deteriorated as it focuses more on cost reduction rather than provision of quality health care. Medical care providers are often faced with the burden of how to establish when to provide full life support to patients and when to withdraw life sustaining support. These decisions are usually based on the patientââ¬â¢s age, type of illness or their prognosis. In effect the medical care providers are influenced to make biased decisions. Defining the standards of care to be given in the intensive care units is based on reducing the incurred costs. (Lo B. (2005). Quality of care Most health care institutions have developed strategies of limiting life support on critically ill patients. Families of critical patients may wish to write do not Resuscitate orders if their patientââ¬â¢s rate of survival is low. In case this is done, this category of patients receives less attention from medical personnel and less care from nurses. Strategies of limiting life support have been based on the patientsââ¬â¢ age, prognosis and the family wishes. Patients who are categorized as old and with a poor prognosis tend to get less attention from the medical care providers and the care given to them is of less quality. Rather that receiving actual medical care these patients are given sedatives and narcotic analgesia. Terminally ill patients receive fewer medical interventions before death and are usually given narcotic analgesics to mitigate pain and sedatives to reduce their suffering. Ethical guidelines urge that all patients be given quality care irrespective of their condition but medical care providers often base their interventions on biased decisions. The concept of futility Medical care providers use the concept of futile therapy to withhold or withdraw life sustaining treatment. In the clinical practice very few things are of absolute certainty and so physicians must avoid making decisions based on the futility of the treatment. The outcome of CPR application cannot be based on whether the patientsââ¬â¢ family signed the Do not Resuscitate order. Every other patient in the intensive care unit should be given quality care based on facts rather than assumptions. Decisions on withholding or withdrawing life support should be discussed with the patients or with their family members. This expresses respect for their rights and wishes and helps in avoiding conflicts which may lead to legal litigations. The medical personnel are faced with a dilemma in cases where the patientââ¬â¢s prognosis is poor and extending the natural process of dying through aggressive treatment would be futile. In such cases some family members could insist on sustaining the patientsââ¬â¢ life. The medical personnel thus have no option in deciding what is best for the patient. Putting such a patient through aggressive treatment enables the family to understand the realities of the concept on withholding or withdrawing the life support. Autonomy This principle demands that no form of treatment should be administered to patients without their own approval or that of their family members, except in cases of emergency where immediate intervention is required. Patients and their families have the right to disapprove any form of treatment and their wishes should be respected. These wishes should be indicated on a written consent in form of advance directive. However, when writing the directive the patient may not have anticipated his present condition or he may decide to change his mind. Medical personnel are thus faced with burden of making the best decision for the patient by putting the patientââ¬â¢s interests first. In the intensive care unit, medical personnel deciding whether to apply CPR on a patient with a good prognosis or to follow his family wishes to withdraw life support. The reliability of family members to represent the best interests of the patients is questionable because some family members may want to withdraw the patientââ¬â¢s life support for their own selfish interests. As a result, doctors and nurses are required to make the best decision for the patient irrespective of the familyââ¬â¢s wishes. (Pozgar G. D (2005). Euthanasia and assisted suicide Euthanasia is whereby a medical care provider administers a lethal dose to the patient while in assisted suicide the killing drug is self administered by the patient with the help of a physician. This practice is no widespread, although physicians all over the world are engaging in the practice. They justify their actions as a form of relieving their patients from pain and suffering. In some cases patients do not give consent for euthanasia but still physicians practice it. Most family members choose terminal sedation whereby patients are put in a comatose condition and then food and water is withdrawn. (Morton P. G (2005) Organ donation Patients in the intensive care unit requiring critical care may require an organ transplant to assist in sustaining their life. Patients and family members might have advance directives which disapprove the idea of organ transplants. Medical care givers have a difficult time determining whether a patient should receive an organ donation or not. Performing an organ transplant without the patients or familyââ¬â¢s consent could lead to a legal litigation. (Melia K. M (2004). The principle of beneficence In this situation the medical care provider is faced with a moral dilemma in making the best decision fro the patient with regard to his interests rather than those of the family. The role of a physician to apply his best judgement for the patientââ¬â¢s interest is hindered by the patientsââ¬â¢ family which rejects the concept of futility. Such family members impose unreasonable demands on the physician to extend the natural process of dying. This only prolongs the patientââ¬â¢s pain and suffering. Medical personnel should therefore be able to make the best decisions for the patients. Ethical issues in the nursing field hinder the ability of physicians to administer quality medical care to critical patients in the intensive care unit.à Physicians are urged to shoe humanity and compassion when applying intensive care to critical patients. Nurses and doctors should set goals and objectives when giving end of life care to patients with both good and poor prognosis. In regard to ethical issues in the intensive care unit, medical care givers should know that their duties are both directed towards the patients and the families. Before carrying out any medical treatment and procedure, nurses and doctors should obtain written consents form patients or their immediate family members to avoid ethical dilemmas which may lead to legal litigations.
Spirit Bound Chapter Seventeen
THE ENTIRE ROOM SEEMED to hold its breath. Yet even in the face of miracles, guardiansââ¬âor Strigoi, for that matterââ¬âwere hard to distract. Fights that had paused now resumed with just as much fury. The guardians had the upper hand, and those of them who weren't engaged with the last surviving Strigoi suddenly leapt toward Lissa, trying to pull her away from Dimitri. To everyone's surprise, she held on to him tightly and made a few feeble attempts to fight off those crowding around her. She was fierce and protective, again putting me in mind of a mother defending her child. Dimitri was holding on to her just as intently, but both he and Lissa were outmatched. The guardians finally pried them apart. There were confused shouts as guardians tried to determine whether they should kill Dimitri. It wouldn't have been hard. He was helpless now. He could barely stand when they jerked him to his feet. That woke me up. I'd simply been staring, frozen and dumbstruck. Shaking off my daze, I sprang forward, though I wasn't sure who I was going for: Lissa or Dimitri. ââ¬Å"No! Don't!â⬠I yelled, seeing some of the guardians move in with stakes. ââ¬Å"He's not what you think! He's not Strigoi! Look at him!â⬠Lissa and Christian were shouting similar things. Someone grabbed me and pulled me back, telling me to let the others handle this. Without even thinking, I turned and punched my captor in the face, discovering too late it was Hans. He fell back a little, seeming more surprised than offended. Attacking him was enough to attract the attention of others, however, and soon I had my own group of guardians to fight off. My efforts didn't do any good, partially because I was outnumbered and partially because I couldn't take them on the same way I'd attacked Strigoi. As the guardians hauled me out, I noticed then that Lissa and Dimitri had already been removed from the room. I demanded to know where they were, yelling that I had to see them. No one listened to me. They dragged me away, out of the warehouse, passing a disturbing amount of bodies. Most were Strigoi, but I recognized a few faces from the guardian regiment at the Court. I grimaced, even though I hadn't known them well. The battle was over, and our side had wonââ¬âbut at a great cost. The surviving guardians would be doing cleanup now. I wouldn't have been surprised if Alchemists showed up, but at the moment, none of that was my concern. ââ¬Å"Where's Lissa?â⬠I kept demanding as I was shoved inside one of the SUVs. Two guardians slid in with me, one sitting on each side. I didn't know either of them. ââ¬Å"Where's Dimitri?â⬠ââ¬Å"The princess has been taken to safety,â⬠one of the guardians said crisply. He and the other guy stared straight ahead, and I realized neither was going to acknowledge the question about Dimitri. He might as well not exist for any of them. ââ¬Å"Where's Dimitri?â⬠I repeated, speaking more loudly in the hopes that might get an answer. ââ¬Å"Is he with Lissa?â⬠That got a reaction. ââ¬Å"Of course not,â⬠said the guardian who'd spoken before. ââ¬Å"Is heâ⬠¦ is he alive?â⬠It was one of the hardest questions I'd ever asked, but I had to know. I hated to admit it, but if I were in Hans's place, I wouldn't have been looking for miracles. I would have been exterminating anything I perceived as a threat. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠said the driver at last. ââ¬Å"Heâ⬠¦ itâ⬠¦ is alive.â⬠And that was all I could get out of them, no matter how much I argued and demanded to be released from the carââ¬âand believe me, I did a lot of that. Their ability to ignore me was pretty impressive, really. To be fair, I'm not even sure that they knew what had happened. Everything had occurred so fast. The only thing these two knew was that they'd been ordered to escort me out of the building. I kept hoping someone I knew might join us in our SUV. Nope. Only more unknown guardians. No Christian or Tasha. Not even Hansââ¬âof course, that was understandable. He was probably afraid I'd accidentally punch him again. When we were loaded up and on the road, I finally gave up my badgering and sank back into the seat. Other SUVs had left with ours, but I had no clue whether my friends were in them. The bond between Lissa and me was still numb. After that initial shock where I'd felt nothing, I'd slowly regained a slight sense of her, telling me we were still connected and that she was alive. That was about it. With all that power that had blasted through her, it was almost like the bond had been temporarily fried. The magic between us was fragile. Each time I tried to use the bond to check on her, it was as though I'd stared too brightly at something and was still blinded. I just had to assume it would reestablish itself soon because I needed her insight on what had happened. No, scratch insight. I needed to know what had happened, period. I was still in a bit of shock, and the long ride back to Court allowed me time to process what few facts I had access to. I immediately wanted to jump to Dimitri but needed to start at the beginning if I really wanted to analyze all that had occurred. First: Lissa had charmed a stake and withheld the info from me. When? Before her college trip? At Lehigh? While captive? It didn't matter. Second, in spite of her failed pillow attempts, she had gotten the stake into Dimitri's heart. It had been a struggle, but Christian's fire had made it possible. I winced, recalling the burns Lissa had suffered during that ordeal. I'd felt the pain of those before the bond blanked out, and I'd also seen the marks on her. Adrian wasn't the world's best healer, but hopefully his magic would be enough to take care of her injuries. The third and final fact hereâ⬠¦ wellâ⬠¦ was it a fact? Lissa had stabbed Dimitri and used the same magic she would for a healingâ⬠¦ and then? That was the big question. What had happened, aside from what felt like a nuclear explosion of magic through our bond? Had I really seen what I thought I'd seen? Dimitri hadâ⬠¦ changed. He was no longer a Strigoi. I felt it in my heart, even though I'd only had that brief glimpse of him. It had been enough to allow me to see the truth. The Strigoi features were gone. Lissa had done everything Robert had sworn she needed to do to restore a Strigoi, and certainly after all that magicâ⬠¦ well, it was easy to believe anything was possible. That image of Dimitri came back to me, clinging to Lissa with tears running down his face. I'd never seen him so vulnerable. Somehow, I didn't believe Strigoi cried. Something in my heart twisted painfully, and I blinked rapidly to stop from crying too. Glancing around, I tuned back into my surroundings. Outside the car, the sky was lightening. It was nearly sunrise. The guardians with me had signs of weariness on their faces, yet the alert expressions in their eyes never faltered. I'd lost track of the time, but my internal clock told me we'd been on the road for a while. We had to almost be back at Court. Tentatively, I touched the bond and found it was back but still fragile. It was like it flickered in and out, still reestablishing itself. That was enough to put me at ease, and I breathed a sigh of relief. When the bond had first come about years ago, it had been so strangeâ⬠¦ surreal. Now I'd accepted it as part of my life. Its absence today had felt unnatural. Looking through Lissa's eyes, at the SUV she rode in, I immediately hoped I'd see Dimitri with her. That one glimpse at the warehouse hadn't been enough. I needed to see him again, needed to see if this miracle had truly happened. I wanted to drink in those features, to gaze at the Dimitri from so long ago. The Dimitri I loved. But he wasn't with Lissa. Christian was there, however, and he glanced over at her as she stirred. She'd been asleep and still felt groggy. That, combined with the aftereffect of that searing power earlier, kept our connection a little hazy. Things shifted out of focus for me off and on, but overall, I could follow what was happening. ââ¬Å"How do you feel?â⬠asked Christian. His voice and his eyes as he peered at her were filled with so much affection that it seemed impossible she didn't notice. But then, she was a little preoccupied right now. ââ¬Å"Tired. Worn out. Likeâ⬠¦ I don't know. Like I've been thrown around in a hurricane. Or run over by a car. Pick something horrible, and that's what I feel like.â⬠He gave her a small smile and gently touched her cheek. Opening myself to her senses more, I felt the pain of her burns and that he was tracing the skin near one, though being careful to keep away from it. ââ¬Å"Is it awful?â⬠she asked him. ââ¬Å"Is all my skin melted off? Do I look like some alien?â⬠ââ¬Å"No,â⬠he said, with a small laugh. ââ¬Å"There's not that much. You're beautiful, like always. It would take a lot for that to change.â⬠The throbbing pain she felt made her think that there was more damage than he was admitting to, but the compliment and the way he'd said it went a long way to soothe her. For a moment, her whole existence focused on his face and the way the rising sun was starting to light it up. Then the rest of her world came crashing down on her. ââ¬Å"Dimitri! I need to see Dimitri!â⬠There were guardians in the car, and she glanced around at them as she spoke. As with me, no one seemed willing to acknowledge him or what had happened. ââ¬Å"Why can't I see him? Why'd you take him away?â⬠This was directed to anyone who would answer, and at last, Christian did. ââ¬Å"Because they think he's dangerous.â⬠ââ¬Å"He's not. He's justâ⬠¦ He needs me. He's hurting inside.â⬠Christian's eyes suddenly went wide, his face filling with panic. ââ¬Å"He's notâ⬠¦ You aren't bonded to him, are you?â⬠I guessed by the look on his face that Christian was recalling Avery and how bonding with multiple people had pushed her over the edge. Christian hadn't been there for Robert's explanation of the soul going to the world of the dead and how restored Strigoi didn't get bonded. Lissa shook her head slowly. ââ¬Å"Noâ⬠¦ I just know. When Iâ⬠¦ when I healed him, we had this connection, and I felt it. What I had to doâ⬠¦ I can't explain it.â⬠She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated that she couldn't put her magic into words. Weariness was starting to overtake her. ââ¬Å"It was like I had to do surgery on his soul,â⬠she said at last. ââ¬Å"They think he's dangerous,â⬠repeated Christian gently. ââ¬Å"He's not!â⬠Lissa glared around at the rest of the car's occupants, all of whom were looking somewhere else. ââ¬Å"He's not Strigoi anymore.â⬠ââ¬Å"Princess,â⬠began one of the guardians uneasily, ââ¬Å"no one really knows what happened. You can't be sure thatââ¬âââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"I am sure!â⬠she said, voice too loud for the small space. There was a regal, commanding air to it. ââ¬Å"I know. I saved him. I brought him back. I know with every single part of me that he's no longer Strigoi!â⬠The guardians looked uncomfortable, again not speaking. I think they were just confused, and really, how could they not be? There was no precedent for this. ââ¬Å"Shh,â⬠said Christian, putting his hand on hers. ââ¬Å"There's nothing you can do until we're back at Court. You're still hurt and exhaustedââ¬âit's written all over you.â⬠Lissa knew he was right. She was hurt, and she was exhausted. That magic had ripped her apart. At the same time, what she had done for Dimitri had created a bond to himââ¬ânot a magical one, but a psychological one. She really was like a mother. She felt desperately protective and concerned. ââ¬Å"I need to see him,â⬠she said. She did? What about me? ââ¬Å"You will,â⬠said Christian, sounding more certain than I suspected he was. ââ¬Å"But just try to rest now.â⬠ââ¬Å"I can't,â⬠she said, even while stifling a yawn. That smile flickered back across his lips, and he slipped his arm around her, pulling her as close as the seat belts would allow. ââ¬Å"Try,â⬠he told her. She rested her head against his chest, and his closeness was a type of healing in and of itself. Worry and concern for Dimitri still coursed through her, but her body's needs were stronger for the moment. At last, she drifted into sleep in Christian's embrace, just barely hearing him murmur, ââ¬Å"Happy birthday.â⬠Twenty minutes later, our convoy arrived back at Court. I thought this meant instant freedom, but my guardians took their time in getting out, waiting for some signal or directions that no one had bothered to tell me about. It turned out they were waiting for Hans. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠he said, firmly putting a hand on my shoulder as I shot out of the car and tried to race away toâ⬠¦ well, I wasn't sure where. Wherever Dimitri was. ââ¬Å"Hold on.â⬠ââ¬Å"I have to see him!â⬠I exclaimed, trying to push past. Hans was like a brick wall. Considering he'd actually fought a lot more Strigoi than me tonight, you'd have thought he'd be tired. ââ¬Å"You have to tell me where he is.â⬠To my surprise, Hans did. ââ¬Å"Locked away. Far, far out of your reach. Or anyone else's. I know he used to be your teacher, but it's better if he's kept away for now.â⬠My brain, weary from the night's activities and overwrought with emotion, took a moment to process this. Christian's words came back to me. ââ¬Å"He's not dangerous,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"He's not a Strigoi anymore.â⬠ââ¬Å"How can you be so certain?â⬠The same question Lissa had been asked. How could we really answer that? We knew because we'd gone to incredible pains to find out how to transform a Strigoi, and when we'd completed those steps, there'd been an atom bomb of magic. Wasn't that enough proof for anyone? Hadn't Dimitri's appearance been enough? Instead, my answer was like Lissa's. ââ¬Å"I just know.â⬠Hans shook his head, and now I could see he actually was exhausted. ââ¬Å"No one knows what's going on with Belikov. Those of us that were thereâ⬠¦ well, I'm not sure what I saw. All I do know is that he was leading Strigoi a little while ago, and now he's out in the sun. It doesn't make any sense. No one knows what he is.â⬠ââ¬Å"He's a dhampir.â⬠ââ¬Å"And until we do,â⬠he continued, ignoring my comment, ââ¬Å"Belikov has to stay locked up while we examine him.â⬠Examine? I didn't like the sound of that. It made Dimitri seem like a lab animal. It made my temper flare, and I nearly started yelling at Hans. A moment later, I got myself under control. ââ¬Å"Then I need to see Lissa.â⬠ââ¬Å"She's been taken to the medical center for treatmentââ¬âwhich she needs very badly. You can't go there,â⬠he added, anticipating my next response. ââ¬Å"Half the guardians are there. It's chaos, and you'd be in the way.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then what the hell am I supposed to do?â⬠ââ¬Å"Go get some sleep.â⬠He gave me a wry look. ââ¬Å"I still think you've got a bad attitude, but after what I saw back thereâ⬠¦ well, I'll say this. You know how to fight. We need youââ¬âprobably for more than paperwork. Now go take care of yourself.â⬠And that was that. The dismissal in his voice was clear, and as the guardians hurried around, it was like I didn't exist. Whatever trouble I'd been in before seemed long forgotten. No more filing in the wake of this. But what was I supposed to do? Was Hans crazy? How could I sleep? I had to do something. I had to see Dimitriââ¬âbut I didn't know where they'd taken him. Probably the same jail Victor had been kept in, which was inaccessible to me. I also needed to see Lissaââ¬âbut she was deep in the medical center. I had no power here. I needed to appeal to someone with influence. Adrian! If I went to Adrian, maybe he could pull some strings. He had his royal connections. Hell, the queen loved him, in spite of his slacker ways. As much as it killed me to accept, I was realizing that getting in to see Dimitri right away was going to be nearly impossible. But the medical center? Adrian might be able to get me in to see Lissa, even if it was crowded and chaotic. The bond was still blurry, and talking to her directly would allow me to score faster answers about Dimitri. Plus, I wanted to see for myself that she was all right. Yet when I reached the housing Adrian stayed in at Court, I was informed by the doorman that Adrian had already left a little while ago toââ¬âironically enoughââ¬âgo to the medical center. I groaned. Of course he'd already be there. With his healing abilities, they would have summoned him out of bed. Weak or not, he could definitely help. ââ¬Å"Were you there?â⬠the doorman asked me as I started to turn away. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠For a minute I thought he was talking about the medical center. ââ¬Å"The battle with the Strigoi! The rescue. We've been hearing all sorts of things.â⬠ââ¬Å"Already? What did you hear?â⬠The guy's eyes were wide and excited. ââ¬Å"They say almost every guardian died. But that you captured a Strigoi and brought him back.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, noâ⬠¦ there were more injuries than deaths. And the otherâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ For a moment, I couldn't breathe. What had happened? What had really happened with Dimitri? ââ¬Å"A Strigoi was changed back to a dhampir.â⬠The doorman stared. ââ¬Å"Were you hit on the head?â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm telling the truth! Vasilisa Dragomir did it. With her spirit power. Spread that around.â⬠I left him with his mouth hanging open. And like that, I had no more options, no one else to get information from. I went back to my room feeling defeated but far too keyed up to sleep. At least, that's what I initially thought. After some pacing, I sat on the bed to try to come up with a plan. Yet before long, I felt myself falling into a heavy sleep. I awoke with a start, confused and aching in parts of my body that I hadn't realized had taken hits in the fight. I peered at the clock, astonished at how long I'd slept. In vampire time, it was late morning. Within five minutes, I had showered and put on non-torn, non-bloody clothes. Just like that, I was out the door. People were out and about their daily business, yet every couple or group I passed seemed to be talking about the battle at the warehouseââ¬âand about Dimitri. ââ¬Å"You know she can heal,â⬠I heard one Moroi guy say to his wife. ââ¬Å"Why not Strigoi? Why not the dead?â⬠ââ¬Å"It's insane,â⬠the woman countered. ââ¬Å"I've never believed in this spirit thing anyway. It's a lie to cover up the fact that the Dragomir girl never specialized.â⬠I didn't hear the rest of their conversation, but others I passed had similar themes. People were either convinced the whole thing was a scam or were regarding Lissa as a saint already. Every so often, I'd heard something weird, like that the guardians had captured a bunch of Strigoi to experiment on. In all the speculation, though, I never heard Dimitri's name come up or knew what was really happening to him. I followed the only plan I had: Go to the guardian building that held the Court's jail, though I was unsure what I'd actually do when I got there. I wasn't even entirely sure that was where Dimitri still was, but it seemed the most likely place. When I passed a guardian along the way, it took me several seconds to realize I knew him. I came to a halt and turned. ââ¬Å"Mikhail!â⬠He glanced back and, seeing me, walked over. ââ¬Å"What's going on?â⬠I asked, relieved to see a friendly face. ââ¬Å"Have they let Dimitri out?â⬠He shook his head. ââ¬Å"No, they're still trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's confused, even though the princess still swore up and down after she saw him that he's not Strigoi anymore.â⬠There was a wonder in Mikhail's voiceââ¬âand wistfulness too. He was hoping that it was true, that there might be a chance for his beloved to be saved. My heart ached for him. I hoped he and Sonya could have a happy ending just likeââ¬â ââ¬Å"Wait. What did you say?â⬠His words drew my romantic musings to a halt. ââ¬Å"Did you say Lissa saw him? You mean after the fight?â⬠I immediately reached for the bond. It was gradually growing clearerââ¬âbut Lissa was asleep, so I learned nothing. ââ¬Å"He asked for her,â⬠Mikhail explained. ââ¬Å"So they let her inââ¬âguarded, of course.â⬠I stared, my jaw nearly dropping to the ground. Dimitri was seeing visitors. They were actually letting him see visitors. The knowledge lit up the dark mood that had been building in me. I turned away. ââ¬Å"Thanks, Mikhail.â⬠ââ¬Å"Wait, Roseââ¬âââ¬Å" But I didn't stop. I ran to the guardians' holding building at a full-out sprint, oblivious to the looks I got. I was too excited, too invigorated with this new info. I could see Dimitri. I could finally be with him, back the way he was supposed to be. ââ¬Å"You can't see him.â⬠I literally came to a halt when the guardian on duty in the front reception area stopped me. ââ¬Å"Wh-what? I need to see Dimitri.â⬠ââ¬Å"No visitors.â⬠ââ¬Å"But Lissaââ¬âer, Vasilisa Dragomir got to see him.â⬠ââ¬Å"He asked for her.â⬠I stared incredulously. ââ¬Å"He must have asked for me too.â⬠The guardian shrugged. ââ¬Å"If he did, no one's told me.â⬠The anger I'd kept back last night finally awoke. ââ¬Å"Then go find someone who knows! Dimitri wants to see me. You have to let me in. Who's your boss?â⬠The guardian scowled at me. ââ¬Å"I'm not going anywhere until my shift is over. If you've got clearance, someone will let you know. Until then, no one without special permission is allowed to go down there.â⬠After taking out a fair portion of Tarasov's security, I felt pretty confident I could easily dispatch this guy. However, I felt equally confident that once I got to the depths of the jail cells, I'd run into a lot more guardians. For a second, taking them out seemed very reasonable. It was Dimitri. I would do anything for him. A slight stirring in the bond made me see reason. Lissa had just woken up. ââ¬Å"Fine,â⬠I said. I lifted my chin and gave him a haughty look. ââ¬Å"Thanks for the ââ¬Ëhelp.'â⬠I didn't need this loser. I'd go to Lissa. She was staying at almost the opposite end of the Court's grounds from the holding area, and I covered the distance at a light jog. When I finally reached her and she opened the door to her room, I saw that she'd gotten ready almost as quickly as I had. In fact, I could feel that she'd been pretty close to leaving. Studying her face and hands, I was relieved to see that almost all of the burns were gone. A few red spots lingered on her fingers, but that was it. Adrian's handiwork. No doctor could have made that happen. In a pale blue tank top, with her blond hair pulled back, she didn't look at all like anyone who'd been through such a major ordeal less than twenty-four hours ago. ââ¬Å"Are you okay?â⬠she asked. In spite of everything else that had happened, she'd never stopped worrying about me. ââ¬Å"Yeah, fine.â⬠Physically, at least. ââ¬Å"You?â⬠She nodded. ââ¬Å"Fine.â⬠ââ¬Å"You look good,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Last nightâ⬠¦ I mean, I was pretty scared. With the fireâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I couldn't quite finish. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠she said, looking away from me. She seemed nervous and uncomfortable. ââ¬Å"Adrian's been pretty great healing people.â⬠ââ¬Å"Is that where you're going?â⬠There was agitation and restlessness in the bond. It would make sense if she wanted to hurry over to the medical center and help out too. Exceptâ⬠¦ further probing gave me the startling truth. ââ¬Å"You're going to see Dimitri!â⬠ââ¬Å"Roseââ¬âââ¬Å" ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I said eagerly. ââ¬Å"It's perfect. I'll go with you. I was just over there, and they wouldn't let me in.â⬠ââ¬Å"Roseââ¬ââ⬠Lissa looked very uncomfortable now. ââ¬Å"They gave me some bullshit about how he'd asked for you and not me and that that's why they couldn't let me in. But if you're going, they'll have to let me.â⬠ââ¬Å"Rose,â⬠she said firmly, finally breaking through my chatter. ââ¬Å"You can't go.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬âwhat?â⬠I replayed her words, just in case I'd misheard them. ââ¬Å"Of course I can. I need to see him. You know I do. And he needs to see me.â⬠She slowly shook her head, still looking nervousââ¬âbut also sympathetic. ââ¬Å"That guardian was right,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"Dimitri hasn't been asking for you. Only me.â⬠All my eagerness, all that fire, froze up. I was dumbstruck, confused more than anything. ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ I recalled how he'd clung to her last night, that desperate look on his face. I hated to admit it, but it kind of made sense why he would have asked for her first. ââ¬Å"Of course he'd want to see you. Everything's so new and strange, and you're the one who saved him. Once he comes around more, he'll want to see me too.â⬠ââ¬Å"Rose, you can't go.â⬠This time the sadness in Lissa's voice was mirrored through the bond, flooding into me. ââ¬Å"It's not just that Dimitri didn't ask to see you. He asked specifically not to see you.ââ¬
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